You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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