I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
