in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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