CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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