These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
