guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
