if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize