I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
She's JV to your varsity
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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