dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
