yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Randomize
