isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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