Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize