dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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