I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
