FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
