Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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