dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He called his prostate his "boner button".
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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