hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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