It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize