even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
