my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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