So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
