No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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