Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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