I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I feel like a drive thru vagina
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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