She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
