yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
