Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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