we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
