Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
