He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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