This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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