Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
