she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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