i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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