omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize