Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
