I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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