i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
