If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The air was thick with penises
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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