You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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