Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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