I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
