I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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