In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
