Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
