I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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