That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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