Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize