Who wears a wallet chain?!
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
