I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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