I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
