i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
