dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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