yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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