HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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