Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
