I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize