Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize